Do you ever feel like giving up? Is your heart heavy and your body sapped of energy?
Recently, I struggled with these feelings. An article I wrote did not get picked for publication affecting me more than expected. After all, I knew it was quite possible.
This was the second time, however, I had submitted something to this group. I had learned so much in the year between and, deep down, believed my chances were much better. My hopes and expectations were higher.
When I saw the email, a sharp jab pierced my heart, and a ball of lead settled in my abdomen. A sense of failure flooded over me even as I rejoiced in the friends who succeeded.
Why bother, I thought to myself. I obviously don’t have what it takes.
I could feel my hopes and dreams drifting away like dry, dead leaves on the wind. With the weight of failure heavy on me, I sighed and shared the news with my husband, but he had no words of comfort for me. Disappointed, I turned to the source where I knew I should go: the Lord. In the quiet solitude of my office, I poured my heart out to Him, asking why, and for comfort and guidance. Even though I knew how I felt was just that, feelings and lies from the enemy, the heaviness I was experiencing physically and spiritually persisted.
No matter our feelings, it is necessary to keep going forward in the truth and strength of the Lord and His promises. If we believe in the depth of our hearts and souls that the Lord has given us a job, a good work to do, we can’t give up, even if we are weary and feel hopeless. We don’t know the Lord’s timing, but we know He has asked us to trust Him. If He decides this is not the right time to fulfill our dreams and prayers, it is for our best and His glory. He is the Sovereign One and will bring about the harvest when the time is perfect.
The next day, I dutifully went to my office, as I did each morning, but with little enthusiasm. One part of my morning routine is to listen to a worship song before I do anything else. I discovered a couple of new songs the day before sung by Audrey Assad and played the one called Abide With Me. It is an old hymn, and I pulled out my hymnal to sing along. The beauty of those words flowed into my soul and soothed the ache that had lodged there. Tears of gratitude and love flowed unexpectedly as the truth that the Spirit of the majestic Sovereign Lord would and does, abide with me.
One line, in particular, stands out;
When other helpers fail and comforts flee, Help of the helpless, O abide with me!
The Lord left us the Holy Spirit to abide (dwell) with us, in us. He is our help, our Comforter, and the only one who can soothe us in the depths of our hearts, souls, and minds.
When our dreams, hopes, plans and expectations seem to fall flat or hit a wall, we have a source where we can go to fight those lies, the Word of God, and those feelings, our Comforter. The Lord has promised to abide with us, but we also have to abide in Him and trust Him with our dreams, hopes, plans, and expectations.
He is the Lord of the harvest; we are His hands and feet. When we look to Him for our strength, hope, and purpose, we can continue on in doing the good work He set out for us to do and not give up.