I recently celebrated another birthday.
Growing up, my mother always celebrated our birthdays and made sure we had a cake and at least one present, even when times were lean, and our numbers grew. She also liked to be celebrated, right into her nineties. So, birthdays are a big deal in my family, and I have carried on the tradition.
As a result, I had high expectations for my birthday. The problem was that my husband was not raised with the same expectations. He went along with my birthday party plans and special cakes for our sons and him, but he didn’t feel the need, or desire, to do the same for me.
As a result, every March, there was tension in the house. I would fantasize about a party with friends and family, delicious homemade cake, and the present I longed for.
Frequently, I ended up disappointed because I had unrealistic, and often unvoiced, expectations. Then my twins were born two days after my birthday, and it became all about them. Yet inside (mostly) I pouted and felt unseen, unloved, and insignificant.
Over the years, it has become less of a big deal, and the Lord has worked on my heart. And yet…
Don’t we all long to be seen, loved and celebrated, in that secret place in the depth of our hearts? And occasionally a chip of disappointment bubbles up in our thoughts and feelings, making us pout. The enemy loves those bubbles. He works at blowing them up like a kid with bubble gum, hoping to see them burst all over our faces.
But when we have Christ in our hearts, we can squelch those bubbles as soon as they form.
As important as I think it is to celebrate the birthdays of each person, I have had other “birth” days that are equally, if not more, important than the day I first drew breath. Spiritual birth days.
The first was when I was seven, and the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to the overwhelming love and grace of Christ on the crucifix before me.
The second was as a thirty-something wife and mother, when I witnessed a re-enactment of that crucifixion scene and realized I needed to not only know Christ, but believe and trust him with my life.
The next big “birth” day was many years later. It was the day I had to decide, to choose, to obey and trust the LORD, even if I was never “happy”, in the worldly idea of happy, again. This birth was not easy. It was more like a C-section, involving surgery and an extended time of healing. But I had the best Surgeon and most loving Obstetrician, who held my hand and was with me every moment.
There have been many other small “birth” days over the years. As long as the LORD blesses me with more years to celebrate, I know he will not neglect to bless me with “birth” days, because he is the perfect Father.
I encourage you to take some time, not just a few minutes, but a good chunk of time to contemplate what “birth” days the LORD has blessed you with. Grab a coffee and sit on your deck, go for a stroll, or take a warm bath, and look back over the years. Marvel at the goodness of your Abba, and the Saviour who made it all possible and whisper a prayer of thanks.
And if you haven’t experienced any “birth” days, take that time to ask the LORD for your first, and maybe talk to a Christian friend, or your local pastor about it. You are also more than welcome to email me. I would love to discuss it with you.
Be well!
Patricia