I have recently been doing a Bible study with a friend and one of the questions was, ‘What was a time in your life when you felt totally alone?’. Now I am not a quick response type of person. I need to mull things over before I answer or I end up blurting out stupid things or it comes out in a way I didn’t mean. So I couldn’t really think of a good answer at the time; which is strange because I have felt lonely my entire life.
As a child, I was the youngest of seven children for seven years. Now, as is common with youngest children, I was at home alone while the others went to school; my Mom was a single parent at the time and wanted time without me underfoot and so I was often banished to the great outdoors to entertain myself. I also spent much time cutting pictures out from catalogues and pasting them into scrapbooks. It was lonely.
Quiet and painfully shy, I wouldn’t talk to strangers if my life depended on it; not even for candy! Living in a large family of strong personalities, I felt lost in the shuffle. I always felt on the outskirts of life; not part of the in crowd, not the most athletic, not beautiful, not a great talker, invisible.
Two weeks before my sixteenth birthday, I had to leave home because my stepfather and I didn’t get along. I still remember the day my Mom dropped me off at that big, old, boarding house full of strangers. I put on a brave face for my Mom’s sake but once the door was closed , the fear and loneliness crashed in. What would become of me?
Then as a young adult, I was married to an abusive man and when I went and spoke to someone about it was told that happened in marriage and to go back. Alone.
I have struggled with sin, difficult situations and pain in the dark of night, with tear streaked cheeks and a terrified, anxiety filled, heart and mind.
The reality of life is that we are all alone in our minds and souls. Human beings are all islands, afloat in a sea of humanity, trying to navigate through the darkness, searching for love, identity and purpose.
This is also why I hate bedtime. When we are alone and in the dark, unable to see the beauty of the Lord’s handiwork around us, unable to read His Word without waking another, no distractions to take our minds off ourselves, this is when the enemy likes to attack. This is also when anxiety and fear can take me captive. But God…..
You see, the reason I struggled with that question in our Bible study, is because from the time I was born, I was taught about the God of the Bible. Then at the age of seven, I looked up at that crucified Christ and knew beyond doubt that I was loved!
Once I learned of God and fell in love with Christ, although I felt alone in that sea of humanity, I always knew deep in my soul that I was not. As I look back over my life, I can see God’s fingerprints all over it. God was there watching over me, waiting for me to turn to Him.
The problem was, I didn’t always do that; turn to Him for what I needed. I knew and believed in God and Jesus but I didn’t have a personal relationship with Him. He was a God who was “out there”, watching from afar, with me but not accessible. He loved me, but He wasn’t intimately involved in my life. Oh how He wanted to be, though!
It wasn’t until I understood and accepted that Jesus Christ died on that cross because He loved me but also because He wanted to be in relationship with me, that I was able to truly turn to Him and believe He cared….intimately!
He sees us in that mass of humanity. He knows us better than we know ourselves and loves us in spite of it. In John 15:14 He calls us, “friend”! In John 20:17, He calls us family! Eternally loved, known and accepted into the family of God. Never alone again.
“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever-” John 14:16
“God sets the lonely in families” Psalm 68:6
Grace, mercy and love are all ours through Him who loves us!
“because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'” Hebrews 13:5
Sister, don’t wait any longer to turn to Him! You don’t have to be an island anymore. He is right beside you waiting for that invitation into your heart.
Sisters in Christ, you are no longer alone, no matter what the enemy may try to tell you.
Speak the Word of truth to your mind and soul.
Cry out to the One who loves you and has promised to never leave you.
Reach out to a fellow believer and share your struggle. You have been put in a family!
Believe and remember who is your Hope and how He has helped you before!
Take care of yourself, body, mind and soul, so you can withstand the times you feel alone and battle the enemy when he tries to tell you it’s true.