Looking down at my desk, I see a pair of old hands resting there, looking back at me.
They have finally arrived.
I have anticipated them all my life. Through the years of watching my Momma’s beautiful, magical hands wrinkle and morph, of holding, washing and caring for those of elderly patients, I knew it was only a matter of time before it happened to me but it seemed so far away.
Over the years I would worriedly check the progress of my own young, strong hands and see slight changes but nothing to give me too much concern. Yet I knew it would come…. some day.
And here they are. Wrinkled, blue-veined, brown-spotted, arthritis ridden, large knuckled, weakened and painful hands. You see, none of my watching, worrying, vitamin taking or creaming has made a difference or stopped it from happening. My hands are old!
The fact is time moves on, it is inevitable. Monday follows Sunday, Tuesday follows Monday, May follows April, the the twenty first follows the twentieth, the seconds add up to minutes and minutes flow into hours. Life moves unrelentingly forward.
And all the while I worry, fret and strive to control it.
Will I marry, or live a single life?
Are children in my future or barrenness?
Is success on my horizon or shattered dreams?
How do I provide for my family?
Where will I live?
What will I wear?
How can I be popular; loved?
Will I have enough money to retire on?
Who will take care of me when I no longer can?
When will I die?
What happens then?
The Bible says in Matthew 6:34, not to worry about tomorrow.
Worrying and wondering about tomorrow is a waste of the precious moments, strength and resources I have for today. The fact is, we don’t even know if we have a tomorrow. “Yikes!”, you gasp! “Now I have to worry about that!” You could, but is that really what you would want to spend your last twenty fours hours of life doing? Worrying about the inevitable, the things you have no control over, things that will turn to dust and rust?
You see, dear hearts, tomorrow may come and with it bring a whole basket of new concerns and troubles. Or it may not.
But today we have! And while it is here, what shall we do with it? Waste it on worrying, fretting over what may never be? Oh the hours and energy I have wasted doing that very thing and missing the joy of the moments I was in!
Am I scarring my children?
Do people like me? Why or why not!?!
Why can’t I be more like so and so?
Will my husband always love me?
Am I a good enough, wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, friend, Christian, human being?
And on, and on it goes.
Yet what has it accomplished? What has it changed?
Tomorrow still came with it’s own troubles, and the one after that and so on. Many things that I worried and stressed about never happened or were just figments of my own imagining. Some things happened that I could never have anticipated or changed, no matter how much I worried and fretted.
But God knew and He was there with me in all those moments. He still is. His promises never fail. His mercies are new every morning. He is faithful, even though I am not.
Do I still worry? Yes, I am human and imperfect.
But when I am tempted to do it, I remember I have a Saviour who loves me enough to have died for me. I remind myself I have a Father who is the Lord over all things and that He is trustworthy.
So, here I sit with old hands and wonder about my last years here on planet earth. I don’t know what tomorrow holds or if I will see another one. However, I know whatever is in my future, I will not face it alone. The God who has been with me in the past and has sustained me , will be with me today and all of whatever tomorrows He may bless me with.
Take heart Sisters! Look back, look up and rest in His grace for whatever may lie ahead.