The pungent, sweet smell of blood, mixed with sweat and dust permeated the air, The noisy crowd had dwindled, but Mary only heard the throb of her heartbeat as it reverberated in her ears, and thudded in her chest, alongside the sword of pain that had pierced it. Across her bent knees lay the pale, battered, lifeless body of her firstborn son. Warm, salty fluid dripped from her nose and chin onto his cold naked body, as she gently traced the features of the face she knew so well and loved so dearly. Pictures and words flashed through her thoughts. Memories of angels, shepherds, Magi, and temple visits. Voices recalled that had confused and scared her, causing her to mull and ponder their meaning. Hanging her head, closing her eyes, as quiet sobs shook her body, she whispered once again in her soul,

“Behold, the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word.”

Luke 1:38 NKJV

Throughout her life, Mary had to repeatedly learn submission to God’s plan and to release her hold on her son and her hopes and dreams for his life and her own.

My husband and I once had the privilege of visiting the Pieta in Rome, a statue sculpted by Michaelangelo out of marble depicting Mary holding the dead crucified Christ on her lap. Out of everything to see at the Vatican, this mesmerized me. The graceful, perfectly carved details, but most of all the emotion captured. I had met and fallen in love with Jesus before this but did not understand or have knowledge of what it meant to be born again. I was deeply impacted as my eyes poured over each detail. What kind of love was this?

A warm, spring breeze rustled the small, green leaves covering the gnarled limbs of the olive trees surrounding them. Cloaked lumpy shapes were discernable in the shadowy darkness. Off by himself was a lone figure, folded over his knees, face inches from the dirt, hands white as they clenched together. Fat drops of sweat stained the dirt, and his hands shook from the anguished battle raging inside. Extreme pain, rejection, ridicule and betrayal loomed in his thoughts and pressed on his chest. The heaviest weight in his core was fear of the taint of sin and separation; isolation. It was alien to him. No unity- communion, with his Father.

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Mark 15:34 NIV

Jesus also chose to submit to His Father’s will, let go of any plans or dreams His human heart desired, and pour himself out for others and the glory of God.

Custodial living is when someone is responsible for caring for you, protecting and supervising you. The Almighty Sovereign God is our custodian, our Father. He created us and watches over us, individually and personally, when we submit our lives to His care.

We are given custodial rights over our children and loved ones for a time, but they do not belong to us. They are God’s.

Are you clenching your fingers on your child or loved one as though your life – your identity – depended on it? As though their life depended on you? What is your greatest fear if you let go?

God the Father loves them, knows them and has the best plan for their life. Do you believe He is trustworthy and able?

Be honest about your fear, sit down with Him and pour it all out. He’s big enough to take it. Ask your Abba to help you release your grip, then listen and wait. He is faithful to teach, and guide you through the process of letting go, and leaning deeper into His embrace.

Father God also let go.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning.”

John 1:1-2 NIV

Perfect oneness, perfect love, perfect satisfaction.

Yet God chose to release Jesus, the Word, His only begotten Son, and offer Him up to temptation, suffering, the bearing of sin, and death – for us. He understands the pain of letting go. He chose to turn His face away from a piece of Himself, so He could cover you with His all-encompassing, loving wings, and bring you home.

Sisters, our Father longs for you to trust Him with your dearest and best, so He can give you His dearest and best, Himself. We definitely get the long end of the stick in the deal, because it is a win-win for us. Our loved ones get the best care and protection, and we get perfect love and rest.

Be Well!

Patricia