The tables in the palace hall, once laden with gold platters of choice food, had been cleared. Choice wine flowed freely into the golden goblets of each noble, high officer and chief man of Galilee who drunkenly lounged there and hung on each word from the King’s lips. They had all been summoned to celebrate Herod’s birthday, and none were going to miss the opportunity to ingratiate themselves in the King’s eyes.

Standing in the shadows, Herodias, Herod’s wife, watched and waited. Soon, she mused, soon they would be inebriated enough to think only with their base instincts. Then she would make that baptizer, John, pay for his vile words against her marriage. Where was his God now, as he rotted in prison?

The time had come. With a nod of her head, the music became sultry, and Salome, Herodias’s daughter, glided onto the dance floor. Herod’s eyes followed every seductive movement, lustily drinking in the beauty of his young niece until the end.

“Ask me whatever you wish, and I will give it to you!” Herod slurred out loudly.

A smirk crossed Herodias’s cruel mouth when Salome ran to her for counsel.

“The head of John the Baptist!”

When Herod heard Salome’s request, he was “exceedingly sorry”. But his pride was stronger and the request was granted.

Judas was exceedingly sorry.

He remembered the look in Jesus’ eyes after he kissed Him on the cheeks. Sorrow mixed with deep compassion. The power of his words knocked us all back, but that look lingered in my soul, tormenting me.

But why didn’t he stop them? Why did he allow them to arrest, torture and mock Him? He had displayed His power to overthrow them, over and over, so why? The memory of those eyes pierced him, yet again. Could it be I got it wrong? Have I betrayed the Messiah to be condemned?  

His feet began to move before his thoughts finished forming. Perhaps if I go and give their blood money back, those wolves in sheep’s clothing will let him go. I have to try!

The echo of those thirty pieces of silver, scattering across the temple floor, haunted each step he took. The horror of what he had done flooded every fibre of his being. There was nowhere to go after this. The other apostles would spit on him, he would be labelled a traitor wherever he went, and God could never forgive such sin.

A bitter, twisted chuckle bubbled out between his lips, “I killed His Son!”

The gnawing, clawing horror squeezed his chest and stole his air. His feet seemed to have turned to stone, as he dragged them toward the tree on the cliff.

“I am doomed. There is only one way to end my agony,” he mumbled, unaware of the tears staining his cheeks.

Are there consequences for our choices?

Yes, there are.

Are there consequences we suffer because of other people’s choices?

Yes, we do.

And we become exceedingly sorry.

But what really matters is what we do when we come face to face with those consequences and that sorrow.

The LORD is a gracious, loving and patient God. His forgiveness is complete for those in Christ.

He has promised to remove our sin:

• as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12).
• behind his back (Isaiah 38:17).
• and blot them out (Isaiah 43:25).
• and not count them against us. (2 Corinthians 5:19).
• cancel the record of debt (Colossians 2:13-14 ESV)
• not remember them (Jeremiah 31:34).

Our job is to take our bad choices, regrets, and sorrows, and humbly place them before the LORD, then ask for forgiveness. If we don’t, our deep sorrow will grow and turn into bitterness, anger, and harden our hearts. Not just toward people, but the Lord. And if we let this happen, we begin to distance our hearts, minds and souls from the LORD and everyone.

Lonely, defeated, and self-focused we end up not only hurting those around us, but eventually ourselves.

This is not what God wants. Because God loved this crazy planet and the billions of humans on it so much, he offered up his son to be tortured, spit on and die in our place. If he was willing to do that, there is nothing we are capable of doing that is beyond His power to forgive.

So, let’s not wallow, moan, or blame others. But let’s take a long, hard look at our own hearts and thoughts.

Ask yourself;

• Am I being proud?
• What was I thinking before I made that choice?
• Am I holding onto this pain and anger because I feel empowered by it?
• Do I blame God?
• Do I think I am unforgivable?

Then take all these questions and answers to the LORD. Place them at His compassionate, loving feet, and wrestle through them together. He is willing and able, to forgive and forget.

Praying for you always.

Be well!

Patricia